SCAN MY MACHINE

No download. No sign-up. No file to run. This page is already reading your computer and grading it — scroll and watch it work. Everything below is measured in your browser and stays there.

-- / 100 SCANNING

Reading your hardware…

This takes about four seconds. We have never seen your computer before.

  • Processing
    How fast this machine runs actual work
  • Graphics
    How fast it draws to your screen
  • Browser health
    Version, features, and security posture
  • Connection
    Round-trip time and throughput right now

WE ACTUALLY RAN SOMETHING

A spec sheet says what a computer should do. These two tests say what yours just did, a second ago, in this tab. Both are real work — arithmetic and pixels — timed to the microsecond.

Processor test

queued
ops/sec

A tight loop of integer and floating-point math, run for a fixed slice of time.

This is the number that collapses when a machine is overheating, throttling, or fighting background software.

Graphics test

queued
frames/sec

A canvas redrawn as fast as your browser will allow, with real compositing work per frame.

When this comes back low, scrolling stutters and video drops frames — the two things people describe as "it feels slow".

live render test

WHAT THIS SCAN FOUND

Only the items that matched your machine are shown. Nothing here is a sales pitch dressed as an error — if the scan came back clean, it says so.

Waiting on the scan to finish…

Want to keep this? Print the page (Ctrl + P, or Cmd + P on a Mac) and save it as a PDF. It prints as a clean report with the findings and prices — and unlike emailing it, that keeps every word of the promise above: nothing here goes anywhere.

Prices above are parts and labour, installed, tax excluded — and they are what you pay unless we find something we did not expect, in which case we ring you before doing anything.

EVERYTHING YOUR BROWSER WILL ADMIT

The full readout the score above was built from. Rows marked "not exposed" are ones your browser deliberately withholds — which is a good thing, and we are not going to pretend otherwise.

tbg@diagnostics: ~ ./scan-this-machineSCANNING…
  • Display
  • Viewport
  • Colour depth
  • Graphics
  • CPU threads
  • System memory
  • Storage quota
  • Power
  • Network
  • Platform
  • Browser
  • Input
  • Time zone

Read in your browser and printed straight to this screen. None of it was sent anywhere — there is no network request in that script.

WHAT THIS CANNOT SEE

A web page is sandboxed, on purpose. Anyone claiming a browser scan found a virus on your computer is lying to you. Here is the honest boundary:

// What A Browser Scan Cannot Tell You
  • Viruses and malware — a web page cannot read your files, and any site that says it found some is running a scam
  • Drive health — SMART data, reallocated sectors, and imminent failure are invisible from here
  • Dust, fan noise, and heat — the most common causes of a slow machine, and all three need eyes on it
  • Windows errors, driver conflicts, and startup bloat — none of it is exposed to a browser
  • Your actual RAM total — browsers round it and cap the number they report, so we read it as a floor, not a fact
tbg@bench: ~ ./full-diagnosis
// what a real bench diagnosis adds
$ smartctl --health /dev/sda
PASSED reallocated: 0
 
$ sensors | grep Core
Core 0: +94.0°C (high = +80.0°C)
! thermal throttling detected
 
$ // this is the part that needs the lid off
fans clogged — clean + repaste
>

NOW LET SOMEBODY OPEN IT UP

The scan above is the free half. The half that finds the failing drive and the fans full of dog hair is us, on a bench, in Hemphill.

GET A QUOTE